blistering moon

about   assume nothing zine    ask & tell   

feminist, sti-centric blogging about sexual health and the body // genderqueer white kid in "philadelphia" // re-blogging my personal posts is a-ok

July 22, 2014 at 8:51pm
33 notes
Reblogged from learningdisabilitynurse

Herpes? How hilarious!

varyalanis:

blisteringmoon:

learningdisabilitynurse:

(If you hadn’t sensed it, that is indeed sarcasm in the title)

Last week we had a Sexual Health lecture at University, I was looking forward to this because, not only do I find it genuinely interesting, I know it is an issue that is going to crop up in my nursing career for the rest of my life… and, honestly, I naively assumed that in a room full of soon-to-be nurses the discussion would be at least marginally more mature than previous ones… I was wrong.

Honestly, when I left that lecture theatre I was ashamed of my cohort. The calls of “ugh”, “that’s disgusting” and “gross” made me worried, because these people will be nurses in one year, and they can’t see a picture of (pretty tame) herpes without expressing how disgusting they think it is, or laughing. What will they do with their patients?

One thing I feel the need to say, because apparently people do not know: SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES AND INFECTIONS ARE EASY TO CATCH.

People seem to think each person who contracts these diseases and infections needs to have filled some quota of promiscuity, or types of sexual act, or that people who have ever caught an STI or STD must be “dirty” or that they frequently have unprotected sex.

WRONG.

There isn’t a ‘safe’ number of people to have slept with, and below that elusive number you could not possibly get an STI or STD, there isn’t some rule about how many times you have to have had unprotected sex.

IT IS BAD LUCK.

When people get an STI or STD it does not tell you anything about their lifestyle, or who they are — but people seem to thing they do, and believe they have a right to judge that person.

Here’s another secret: You can get an STI or STD at any age, provided you are sexually active (and that, tragically, does not only include those who choose to be sexually active). Teenaged, middle-aged, elderly, and everything inbetween. It does not stop being relevant to that person just because you don’t believe they are having sex, do not make assumptions.

Why is having Herpes, or HIV or Gonorrhea seen as so much worse by these student nurses than a person with a pressure ulcer, or tonsillitis, or an infected wound? Is it because they see it as that person’s fault?

PEOPLE DO NOT CHOOSE TO HAVE A SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE OR INFECTION. It is your responsibility to treat the person, just as any other illness, not to judge it or place blame.

How is it that a room full of student nurses will have these reactions to a picture of a few genital warts, but treat a really nasty pressure ulcer without a hitch? Surely nobody genuinely thinks the warts are worse to look at? So what is it? STIGMA.

The fact is, the majority of people in that lecture theatre will be having or have had sex in the past, which makes them just as capable of having contracted these diseases as any other person. Or has every single one of those people used condoms/dental dams every time they have had sex, oral sex, or during any other sexual acts? Have they made every sexual partner get fully tested prior to sex, and asked them if they have ever had any of the viral infections? NO THEY HAVEN’T.

My bet is that some of the 400 students in that lecture theatre had some of the STIs or STD we talked about, and left that lecture feeling really really terrible about themselves… and that isn’t fair.

I don’t know why, after all of this time, sexually transmitted diseases and infections are still treated with such contempt, without respect, and with judgement. They are not more disgusting than other infections we, as nurses and student nurses, treat, and they are not less common, and they are not a direct reflection of any person’s lifestyle.

Why are they treated any differently? Why are they laughed at, why is there blame?

THE STIGMA AND ATTITUDE TOWARDS SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES AND INFECTIONS NEEDS TO CHANGE. That way, people would have the confidence to come forward and ask for treatment before it is too late, and the awareness and education can increase to reduce the problem.

Fingers crossed, in one year, those who laughed will have grown up a bit and will be capable of approaching these issues without such reactions.

fuck yeah. judgment and shaming are soooo last season and that shit should DEFINITELY not be coming from medical professionals whose job it is to “help us.” glad at least some people know whats up. 

Fun fact: There are some you can get without being sexually active, such as through blood or skin contact.  People who use the stigma of sex to carry over to these things are ridiculous. Sex should not be stigmatized in itself, but please don’t even assume that someone got something from having sex if it means you’re going to stigmatize them.

i think i deleted the last time i posted this because it seems to not exist anymore?? but reblogging, also for varyalanis’s important comment!

July 21, 2014 at 9:40pm
100 notes
Reblogged from transartorialism

Feminist Hurt/Feminism Hurts | feministkilljoys →

shttlkng:

transartorialism:

today’s required reading—sara ahmed on feminist hurt and the trigger warning conversation

"The insistence on one’s right to use certain kinds of materials can become a scathing indifference to how these materials affect others. Neither of these students was asking for the removal of these materials from the classroom. But perhaps their expression of hurt is already heard as censoring. And that’s what is at stake here: how hurt is heard as wrong (you are wrong to be hurt) and as an imposition. An imposition here is what is treated as alien (out of place) and, in the academic context, it is something that would get in the way of our freedom, of our freedom to show what we do, to do what we show. No wonder those who ask us to change how we introduce certain materials (as potentially causing harm) have become killjoys: those who get in the way. Hurt itself becomes framed as censoring: as requiring the removal of some offending thing (iiii). But actually the killjoy here is asking for more not less: asking for us to complicate the materials; to situate the materials; to consider how materials can create ripples in how they move us. Of course we cannot always anticipate how things affect somebody, but that does not mean we cannot learn about how things are affective by how others are affected. I might be thrown by how you are thrown."

(via spectralprojection)

July 20, 2014 at 11:28pm
18,963 notes
Reblogged from iamseafemme

fuckyeahsexeducation:

soffasupport:

tempytime:

missfaery:

heavymuffintop:

iamseafoam:

also I bought this excellent looking little flipbook from snaughtie on etsy and I am putting it into my coping skills toolkit.

This is super great. They have a PDF version you can purchase. It also has some blank spots that you can put in words they don’t have. Perfect for when you need help communicating.

This is a great simplified communication tool.

(Source: iamseafemme)

1:45pm
4 notes

about: extended version

i’ve long struggled with how much or little information to share about myself on this blog, but my hope is that by being clear about what the deal is with me & this space, readers/followers will be able to access it more comfortably, and also that i will feel more comfortable by having some context for what i post. 

this blog is my primary outlet for discussing my relationship with sexualized illness. my other blog features mostly fashion and nature-y things. i mostly talk about hsv (herpes) based on my lived experience, but i am interested in all things related to sexually transmissible infections. i approach health, sexuality and consent from a place of self-definition and reclamation, and believe that genuinely dismantling stigma depends on challenging commonly accepted, government-sponsored notions that some bodies are more valuable than others.

tags of note: 

- herpes

- disclosure

- personal

- zines

- writing

* i do not view hsv in isolation from my politics, and thus aim to avoid posting content that perpetuates stigma towards any other STIs or illnesses, gender norms / cis- and hetero-normativity, or otherwise oppressive or marginalizing language. despite my intentions, i have definitely fucked up in the past and continue to fuck up in implicit or explicit ways, so if you feel comfortable doing so, i encourage you to point out my mistakes or shortcomings so i can work on them and avoid doing so again! 

* i also recognize that i hold a lot of privileges and while i may be trying to learn or express support by engaging with blogs of folks who are marginalized in ways that i’m not, my presence isn’t necessarily wanted or could be taking up space/consuming content in a way that reinforces privileged entitlement. if you are uncomfortable with me following you, reblogging or otherwise interacting with your content, please let me know and i will make sure to respect your wishes. 

* the same goes for anybody writing about STIs - i know people come to tumblr for a variety of reasons, with different levels of anonymity, sometimes because they don’t have anywhere else to talk about highly taboo topics. i have perceived herpblr to be a place where it is generally more acceptable to reblog personal stuff, but of course everyone has their own comfort levels. i try to do my best with gauging if it’s ok to reblog personal content, but if i ever post something you do not wish to have shared, let me know and i will delete it asap. my ask/tell box is always open.

* things that might come up on this blog but i use trigger/content warnings for: ableism, abuse, alcohol, blood, death, drugs, genitals, menstruation, nsfw, rape, sexual assault, slurs, victim blaming, violence. let me know if there’s something you’d like me to add!

i am happy to answer questions about hsv or my experiences, but keep in mind i am not an expert. if i dont feel qualified to answer something, i will try to point you in the right direction. you can also contact me off tumblr at shamelesslyrs@gmail.com!

9:24am
1,939 notes
Reblogged from menstrualblog
menstrualblog:

smitethepatriarchy:

I like the word “menarche” to describe the first period. It sounds cool.

also a great alternative!

menstrualblog:

smitethepatriarchy:

I like the word “menarche” to describe the first period. It sounds cool.

also a great alternative!

(via queeroticomics)

July 19, 2014 at 8:02pm
1,237 notes
Reblogged from pigeonbits
pigeonbits:

A couple panels I like from the minicomic about nonbinary gender I’m working on.  Still on track to hopefully have copies by SDCC!  (And in the meanwhile, all the pages are being posted to my patreon as I finish ‘em — up to 12 now!)

pigeonbits:

A couple panels I like from the minicomic about nonbinary gender I’m working on.  Still on track to hopefully have copies by SDCC!  (And in the meanwhile, all the pages are being posted to my patreon as I finish ‘em — up to 12 now!)

(via transqueermediaexchange)

7:45pm
6 notes

i can’t wait to be an old tattooed granny telling stories of all the strange places i had sex when i was young and how i got herpes from a tall french man who didn’t believe in god or feminism, now THAT was a trip

July 17, 2014 at 10:55pm
12 notes

the STD & STI tags on tumblr

  • a comment/joke somebody overheard about the clap lol
  • a blog with the words ‘sex ed’ somewhere in the URL answering a question from an anon with “i don’t know”
  • that black and white photo of a girl holding a sign that says “i hope she gives you herpes”
  • planned parenthood graphic
  • "it’s suuuper important to get tested, guys! sexual health is really important! btw i got tested today, NEGATIVE FOR EVERYTHING YAYYYYY"
  • detailed personal account of your first herpes outbreak
  • something about how if you don’t know that toilet seats, hotel beds, or bowling shoes give you herpes then you’re really ignorant and should probably abstain from sex

8:29pm
3 notes
Reblogged from polycultures

(cross post)

polycultures:

i’ve been wanting to make a zine for a while that is just people’s stories of garlic. have one? please share it with me!

July 16, 2014 at 5:48pm
3 notes
Reblogged from redneck2490

I need help →

redneck2490:

So there I this girl I’m talking to and I have already told her that I have HSV-2. She has a lot of questions and I’m happy about that. She is trying to educate herself enough to make an informed decision on whether or not to continue and see where it may lead. Her most recent question that I…

this link has a breakdown of transmission rates

i’m having trouble finding the resource i used to have on transmission specifically from genitals —> mouth! but from what i remember, it’s much less likely than genital —> genital or oral —> genital, and it is even less likely to pass genital hsv2 to somebody orally than hsv1. fact check anybody???

then again, pretty much everyone has oral herpes anyway sooooo

July 15, 2014 at 7:01pm
3 notes

I wish you were here to check me for ticks

remains a legitimate a) sext and b) concern because I work outdoors and pee in the woods 5 days a week

July 14, 2014 at 6:16pm
29 notes
Reblogged from hsv-2-laughter

Sex/steria →

hs-harpy:

hsv-2-laughter:

Really fascinating article about the phobia of STDs.  

as if I wasn’t already terrified about jumping back into the NY dating pool

eeek

oh nooo! don’t let them scare you! the stars tell me there are many hot dates and a+ sex in your future.

what i found interesting about the article is it describes what might be an intersection of STI stigma and the independent psychological aspect of fear of germs/sickness/etc. in hindsight, maybe this wasn’t important to post? idk, mixed feelings. 

3:33pm
20 notes
Reblogged from hsvandme

hsvandme:

Everybody’s having casual, spontaneous sex in movies and it makes me upset because I can’t do that.
Which doesn’t even make sense because the times I have I didn’t like it.
This has been a pointless post.

Yes, I have so many feelings about this! I’d be lying if I said I’ve never felt resentment during movie sex. I want to not care - but then why do I care? I know that my sex life has improved by like a thousand since I happened to be diagnosed; I know that casual sex is still possible (logistically, and morally) because I’ve done it; I know that I can’t change this aspect of my body so resentment is futile. 

The thing is, sex as portrayed in movies isn’t realistic - and yet it’s what so many of us compare our own lives to. Which makes sense, especially if it’s all we’ve got in the absence of real life narratives. I mean, how can we really know what’s going on in other people’s bedrooms? We usually don’t see it. We usually don’t talk about it. Or if we do, it’s censored to fit within the confines of the sex we do see - aka movie sex. 

It’s just plain unrealistic that in all the sex scenes we’re exposed to through media, we aren’t presented with STI positive characters. Statistically, it makes no sense. Then there’s everything else that typically isn’t shown in movie sex (birth control and/or barriers; explicit consent but rather ‘talking with your eyes’; etc). I remember wondering as a kid/teen how girls always made sure to have their legs shaven before they spontaneously started having sex on screen. (As I got older I realized it wasn’t worth the trouble. I haven’t owned a razor in three years.) I remember wondering how they never happened to be on their periods. 

The movies make it look like the only normal sex is sex without talking, asking or agreeing to it. For me, that’s just not in the cards. So yeah, it sucks to feel excluded from the possibility of passionate, spontaneous sex. But I don’t wish that upon myself. Because I remember what it was like to engage in sexual relationships without talking, without asking, without agreeing. It’s confusing at best and straight up violent at worst. (Just to be clear, I don’t mean that sex without lots of conversations and explicit consent language is not possible or desirable. I’m just not into it, and I think it shouldn’t be the only kind of sex portrayed and glorified in our culture.)

But as a knowingly HSV+ person, I think it can hurt most to watch because without any acknowledgment that STIs could exist, without acknowledging that eventually some movie character is bound to have one, the audience always assumes that they just don’t have STIs. Therefore, my kind of body is never represented in movies. My kind of sex is never represented in movies. It’s like we’re invisible. 

July 13, 2014 at 7:21pm
37,987 notes
Reblogged from mulders

Glamour UK: What do you get riled up about in a feminist context?
Gillian Anderson: A lot. I have feminist bones and when I hear things or see people react to women in certain ways I have very little tolerance.
Glamour UK: But don't you feel sorry for modern men? Not knowing whether they should help us with our bags and open doors for us or whether we'll see it as an affront?
Gillian Anderson: No. I don't feel sorry for men.

July 12, 2014 at 12:52am
12 notes
Reblogged from hivhepcanarchist

Reading list

hivhepcanarchist:

image

In advance of our writing retreat we held two discussion and reading groups in Montreal and Toronto. These are a selection of the readings we chose to get things going. 

Anarchism and AIDS Activism, ACT UP

Fragments of an Anarchist Public Health, by Marcus Hall

Limits to Medicine, Medical Nemesis: the expropriation of health (introduction), by Ivan Ilicah

The Politics of Recovery in Mental Health: A left libertarian analysis, by Alison Edgley, et al.  

Beyond the Buyers Club: The Miracle Drugs That Tamed the AIDS Epidemic, Christopher Glazek

A Quick Review of Buyer’s Clubs, by Julene Tripp Weaver 

Greece’s health crisis: from austerity to denialism, Alexander K, et al. 

One Of Pharma’s Biggest Enemies Goes After The Future’s Best ­Selling Drug, by Matthew Herper

Gilead offers Egypt new hepatitis C drug at 99 percent discount, Maggie Fick

Harm Reduction as Anarchist Practice: a user’s guide to capitalism and addiction in North America, by Christopher Smith